November 29^th, 2022 is GIVING TUESDAY. Partner with us in maximizing the $3,000 Grant. You can give by mail or online through our new website: God Will Make A Way Ministries - Support Us (gwmaw.org) Any gifts marked for GIVING TUESDAY now through November 29^th will apply to the matching gift!

November is National Adoption Awareness Month!

It’s important to realize that we adopt not because we are rescuers. No. We adopt because we are rescued. – David Platt

During an adoption, information is sometimes hard to procure. While we don’t need to know the beginning of a child’s story to change the ending, sometimes it’s helpful in seeing the bigger picture. Uniting families with orphans across the world, across the country or even across the street is the place where multiple stories collide. God brings together seemingly unrelated stories as connected strands in a larger tale.

Cathy recently shared with me her story in her own words. She was on the other side of adoption, pregnant, life complicated and answers hard to find:

I had been playing with fire for about a year. Real relationships were not important but drinking and carousing seemed to be all-important. I was in the Navy and life was full of the next conquest. I was living on the edge, but God knew what I needed.

I was enjoying my life, I was acting as if I was happy and full of joy, but I was very much alone.  I was far from home and my family.  There was no one to protect me or tell me I am too wild or out of control.  I found myself in a beauty contest for the Seabees (Navy construction crews). It was then, that I started feeling horrible.  I hoped I was wrong, but I began thinking, “Could I be pregnant?”  I went through with the competition.  I came in second place and carried a little Seabees bracelet for many years in my jewelry box.

Once this pageant was over, I realized that I was pregnant.  The test proved it.  I remember calling my parents and realizing this was the worst news I could give them and at the worst time. Both my parents were sick, and my mom had just gotten out of the hospital. Their first answer was abortion. They really did not want me to do that, but it seemed as if it would solve everything! That is the thing, abortion takes the problem away, but the child never lives a life. God does not want that.  Every life is important.

The good news is that when I decided on adoption, I was in counseling.  I realized that I was not prepared to have a baby and raise it.  I did have a good job in the Navy, but my maturity was lacking.  I realized adoption was the way to go and told my parents.  They were at first disappointed but committed to supporting me. They came for several weeks and stayed with me until after the pregnancy. My friend was my coach, and I spent the entire day in labor.  Finally, in the early evening of October 6^th, 1980, they induced me, and my baby girl was born.  They knew she was being adopted, so the nurses took her away.   I did ask if she was okay.  The nurse gave a short response but said she was beautiful.

I did not know this, but my mother would go to the nursery at the hospital and hold the baby.  She never told me.  My sister told me after my mother’s death.  That gave me a warm feeling.  My mom spent a few days loving her and giving her a good start.  I was moved to a ward far from the nursery. I was left alone, only to have a few co-workers and my parents near me.  I still was in denial over the birth and then the adoption.

Without the counseling, I may not have been able to make the best choice for my daughter. When I went to sign the papers, I held her for a few minutes.  I could have run out of the agency with her, but what did I have to give her? I knew that decision would change everything for me and would change her life forever.  I handed her back.  I cried all the way to my car.  I then decided to drive to my parents.  So, I took 18 hours to drive home.  This helped me to see that I needed to move forward.   My parents loaded up my car with my hope chest and rocking chair.  I took them back to Florida.  I started jogging to get my weight down and back in my uniform.  I was forming a new life without my daughter.  I was still very alone.  Life was difficult because I wasn’t sure whether to share my experience or act as if the last 9 months didn’t happen at all. The reality of life hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was alone without God in my life. 

My life did move forward, and I advanced in my Navy career while getting married.  We were unable to have children for 7 years and I realized that time was needed for me to resolve my feelings and thoughts.  Comprehending the desire to have a child without the ability to have one.  Then I knew that she was in a good place and no matter what - she was better off.   Then I became pregnant, and God blessed me with twin sons.  I was a happy mother and loved my time with them.  

When I met my daughter for the first time, I was brought back to the day at the agency.  I handed her back to the agency and went forward alone in my life.  I now cherish my friendship with her and her family.  She is in her 40s and has daughters of her own.  She is an educated and loving mother.  Without my decision, a family would not have had the opportunity to love and raise their daughter.  I was totally complete seeing how the story moved forward.  I did the right thing by choosing life.  Life should not start with death. In my story, life for my daughter began with an unselfish but incredibly hard decision to give her a life that didn’t include me.  We now can share this story with love and joy.  God had a plan for my baby, and I found the courage to follow God’s plan. 

 It's sometimes scary to share a story when everything isn’t neat, clean, and straightforward, but life is messy. Thankfully, adoption is not just about rescuing a child, it’s a reflection that we have been rescued by God. That’s a story which brings us all together!  As the Psalmist challenges (82:3) --Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

This month, join us at GWMAW praying for birth parents involved in every adoption. We realize that we won’t know every story, but we can pray for how God will bring their story together for good.

Sincerely,

Pastor Steven Stern

Founder of GWMAW Ministries